brain dump

1. why do people you barely know invite themselves to your wedding. don't they know that's like ALOT of money for food per person?? i am neither inclined nor obligated to invite people who aren't really my friends to my wedding. but it still makes me feel mean or something. when it's not! how do i not feel bad about this?
2. i wish the shoes i am wearing to work were more comfy.
3. you can still see the face i drew on my hand yesterday during choir when me and sarah mcD were being rowdy and it was hilarious. :)
4. i have no idea how my life got to where it is, but i love it. <3
5. there's an awful lot to think about and plan for when you get married. and nothing was a shock, the realization was, it just feels like there's never enough money or time to do it all.
6. it's been SO HOTTTTTT here the last few days. 100 degrees. muggy. and hot. with all the fans going in the house & all the windows open it's still HOT. (cue: the girl with the dark hair & long legs in that red tassle outfit thing from kiss me kate singing "its too darn hot")

75 days is both too far and too close.
www.barttels.brides.com

i'm in love with this picture.

brad's dad sent me this pic of his grandparents. i want her shoes.
and their teepee. ;)

greek salads cure the grumps

i never get so grumpy and tired that i don't want to leave my house & go out to dinner, making my fiance leave the restaurant he's patiently sitting and waiting for me at, go get what i want to eat, and bring it to my apt where i am silently addressing a massive stack of cards.

if i did that, i would probably feel like a very very grateful girl who is very loved. :)

but afterwards i was fed and happy, so he left and i took my tired butt to bed (after an episode of girlmore girls). the end.

dear blog,

i solemnly swear to not blog any more ooshy things about brad. (at least not everyday)
i promise to not blog anymore about my wedding. (there should be a limit 2 per blog) i'm tired of it already after a week.
i should really blog about disneyland with my nephew last week. which was pretty much hilarious. and i secretly think my blog about sick gross soy nuked eggs is better. and sadly, also true ;)

love,
linds

lindsey learns to cook

or not cook. however you think of it.

i knew you could cook scrambled eggs in the microwave, but since i just got a microwave for the first time in a year, i kinda forget to even use it.

so i scramble the eggs in a bowl. and think to myself, "i swear you put milk in it."

so i pulled my milk from the fridge, put in a little, stirred it up, nuked it and then tried to eat.

lesson learned: DO NOT MICROWAVE SOY MILK. ick ick ick.

so i was sitting in church yesterday

thinking to myself (in slight panic, mind you)
"when did this all happen!? wait. i'm engaged?! and that means i'm getting married.
i mean, when did i even fall in love with brad!? it just, like, happened!
i'm sitting on this church bench next to my future brother in law, and next to many friends, all listening to brad mess up his talk in a very cute funny way.
this is my life. when did this suddenly become my life?!"
and make no mistake about it, one day i will wake up and it will all be real, but for now it feels kinda like this:

or maybe THIS. (it wouldn't let me embed)
OH and i keep dreaming crazy wedding dreams. remind me to tell you about the one with trash can punch bowls.
yes, thats what i said, "trash. can. punch. bowls." :)

AHAH!!!

2 points to whoever can correctly guess the metal, stone size & cut ;)

funny how something so small (and yet so large) can make one so EXTREMELY happy! i just kept showing it to brad last night saying "i get to keep it!!"

simple. plain. basically beautiful. so me. so simple. i LOVE IT.
i know what i love & man, oh man! do i love this ring and brad barttels. :)
have i blogged yet that the date is November 14th in Newport Beach!? :) it's official!

walt= genius

i wish i had something more eloquent to say.

but i am so happy.
almost to the point of laughing tears. and my face hurting from smiling.
and i haven't slept in 2 days bc my mind is running a million miles an hour and i'm so EXCITED.

for those of you like me, who didn't know, this is how you are supposed to feel when you get engaged:

• different. like you just became an adult. or joined a club. i don't know why. we can't put our finger on it, but it's different.
• your jeweler is suddenly your new bff.
• at random moments of the day you think of things that never occurred to you before. for instance, you may be talking about something completely unrelated and all the sudden you shout "we have to buy a refrigerator!" (thank goodness for brad. his response without skipping a beat was yep! but let's worry about that later :)
• the ring on your left hand feels like it was there forever. it doesn't take getting used to.
• you can't believe that HF listened to all the whisperings of your heart all these years and produced a man so perfect to your specifications.
• you feel calm. and at peace. like this was the best decision you have ever made.
  
• you feel the need to tell strangers everywhere you just got engaged. :)
• and the best moment of the entire day is the 5 minutes you sit alone in tender silence touching foreheads.
  

i used to go to the beach and ride my bike & think "this is my life!!"
i'm marrying brad.
this is my life :)
my ring is getting fixed & i have a loaner. pictures to come!!

Mrs. Bradley James Barttels.

he asked me on a park bench looking at the ocean. i love looking at the ocean.
i also am completely in love with him. :)
happy happy thoughts...

"she wants a little bit of earth"- the secret garden

when my mother wendy had her backyard finally redone, she kept saying "its my garden of eden!!" or something like that. i didn't get it. i mean, it was SO NICE and beautiful, but i didn't live there. it didn't make a difference to me.

well.
i could cry at the catcus on my porch. i'm SO HAPPY!! now i get it.who knew so many lil' pots could qualify as a garden of eden?!i wish i had a before picture (our sad little barren porch was crying for attention), but here it is AFTER!!as devasted i am that kevin & kellie are moving to idaho, but the fact that i get to inherit the product of kev's green thumb and kellie's patio set is quite a delight. i solemnly swear to not kill kevin's plumeria plant he's nutured & loved for 7 years & give it back when then move back to CA in 3 years. :)i confess as i walked out the door this morning i said good morning to my new plants. i want them to feel loved in their new home. (do you think they'll like me??)

conclusion: green things are so happy. :)

i'm not anti-social.

lessons for loving a pet lindsey #1:

i swear i'm not!!

i know that sometimes i flatly refuse to accompany brad to dessert parties in HB (at which he likes to tell people we're fighting or broken up. so funny that guy.) and sometimes i would rather go for a bike ride with me myself & i, and i prefer vacations and outings with the few rather than the masses, but i promise that's not anti-social. that's socially smart. it means i like everyone. really. and i want to continue to like all of you, so i do everyone in small doses. this also means i want you to like me, so i only give you small doses. in hopes that this creates mutual accord and also that slight sense of curiosity. like gypsys. (wait don't go, this does connect!) they come and go, but you love them for it! (aka i'm the girl form of jonny depp a la chocolat. k maybe i'm not as good lookin' but i think i could be cool livin' on a boat. anyway. fabulous movie.) i'm that friend who isn't there all the time but maybe you'd like to know. just remember i have a touch of the "shys" so i probably like you alot more than i let on. i used to be way less cautious. somewhere in the "growing up" stage i just reached more inward than out. but don't worry! i'm still up for a bedroom dance party anytime you call. ;)

the end.

un ano

quick post before bed.
one year.
one year ago on august 10th i moved to california.
it doesn't seem that significant, but i realized as i knelt to pray before bed that a year goes a long way. i'm almost certain i didn't kneel to pray a year ago, and i know i laid in a strange bed in a strange house with lovely people i didn't know and cried. i don't know what i was crying about, but i think it was just knowing this was a permanent move, and i would have to make this place a home and homes are scary things to me. homes are friends and loved ones and familiarity and it's scary to think of leaving them. i liked being a vagabond moving alot, avoiding roots. BUT HB feels like home. it's where my head rests and heart swells. what lovely friends and memories and what growth has happened in 365 short days!?
thanks HF for letting me live in such a lovely place.
i love it here. it feels nice to have a home. i guess it was meant to be :)
here's to another year!

wish i was joking.

i slept for 19 hours on saturday August 8th.
(calculated from 8am saturday to 8 am sunday)
yes. i did.
and it felt lovely.
hmmm...a handful of pretzels...i think i'm going to go take another nap. :)

the answer i didn't want.

the answer is prescription drugs. the kind that make you loopy at work. and make you wonder if you should be driving at all. BUT they also make the 'ache de head' go from an 11 to a 3.
thanks irvine quick care.

in another day we're hoping ze drugs make it go from a constant 3 to a ZERo. woot!

mi cabeza es no bueno.

has anyone else had major cronic headaches? we're talking like everyday for a month/6 weeks straight?

i tired to make my monitor @ work dimmer, then brighter, wear sunglasses more often, wear only contacts, wear only glasses, tylenol, ibprofen, sleeping more, vacation, exercising more, exercising less, allergy medication and cold medication. no dairy, caffeiene, no sugary sweets, lots and lots and lots of water, longer showers... basically everything. nothing helps. it helps momentarily, but always comes back. like last night i slept for two hours after work, felt GREAT until about 10 PM and then it came back full on. so i went to bed. woke up felt GREAT, but it came back about 11AM.

i try not to whine on my blog (even tho i do) but ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS???

i'm starting to be discouraged. i need my head to work functionably on a regular basis. at first it was just a little numbness everyday, then it's gotten progressively worse. think its too much sunshine? humidity?

anyone know a chiropractor in OC for free? a doctor for free? herbal remedy? meditation? pain killers? c'mon i know there are smart people with good ideas out there. help a sista' out.

"giving in" another poem by your friendly neighborhood linds.

once there was a girl with a headache.
it pounded and numbed for 3 days STRAIGHT.
tylenol, aspirin, ib wouldn't work.
it hurt. she complained, drove her boyfriend bezerk.
this girl had goals and resolutions and pride.
"no soda in 2009!" she cried.
"i made it til august i will not give in,"
with her eyes half closed letting less painful light in.

til one eve with a smile and a kiss,
bradleyjames said "darlin' i think its time you drink this."
she hesitated and thought for a sec
"if i drink this will i be a wreck?
will i be mad that i broke my lofty goal?
will the soda devil take back my soul??"
it only took seconds to make the choice.
she tapped with her nail, heard the POPing noise,
the cherry dr pepper burned her throat.
the carbonation kinda made her choke.
but after an hour, with head held high,
she smiled and thanked her bf so wise.
with headache gone, shark week and ice cream,
the last 3 days just seemed like a dream.
back on the bandwagon and here to stay
she's still happy she drank 200 extra calories yesterday.

thanks be to heaven for medicinal uses
and giving in to the soda pop muses.

the end.

conclusion: sometimes its okay to momentarily break nonimportant personal resolutions.

sometimes i think about life and i just have to say:

boooooooooooooooooooo.