Thursday, August 18, 2011

shouldn't i be tired?

i mean, in the past 6 days:
i moved an entire office in boxes for 4 days. i played with crazy cute children. i stayed up late talking. i did p90x (okay i finally had to skip a couple days, but i made up for it.) i went to the MIL's and got a migraine from the dog. i stood and baked, filled & frosted 300 cupcakes. i cut & washed piles of fruit. i worked 5 hours every day. i clean up a wedding reception. i washed dishes. i carried around a 16.5 pound baby. i stood for an hour helping teenage girls do baptisms. i even got like 5 hours of sleep every night for the past week. head, back, feet- all in uproar. i feel like i piled on the ingredients for a much needed slumber.
so i beg the question... WHY CAN'T I SLEEP??

Saturday, August 6, 2011

something about poop

my daughter likes to poop a couple times a week. makes it nice bc i only have to clean up poop a few times a week, right? wrong. when she goes it is usually in a cute outfit, in somewhere uncomfortable, hard to clean up & a terrible embarrassing mess.
here are a few places that have been graced (?) by her explosive bowels:
1. at a bridal shower in someone else's house when i forgot a change of clothes(that mistake was never made again!) poor huli has holding her & got a wet handfull!
2. at the grungy mechanic's getting an oil change/smog & i had to change her on a greasy, gross chair in a waiting room. surrounded by middle eastern men. with cigars and chest hair peeking out of their shirts. not a lie.
3. at the tire place getting our rims replaced in a brand new- never before worn outfit. i had to change her on a table covered in car magazines. hello bikinis. oh, also that time she pooped THREE times so i ran out of diapers(also hasn't happened since) and had to drive home diaperless, hoping she didn't pee/poop all over the whole car.
4. standing in the middle of red rock canyon taking anderson family pictures. that was perfect timing. not. that time at least i was with family!

5. on a delta flight home from SLC. oh faye, faye, faye... why do you do this to your mother????
i decided i couldn't hold my own pee til we landed so i take her with me into the stall. i am hovering, holding one wall and a baby in the other arm. naturally, at this moment of time we decide to hit turbulence and i hear the seatbelt sign go "ding!" i wish i was making this up. all my energy is now focused on not hitting my baby against the stall wall. we make it out alive & mostly dry *wink* and i get back to my seat. literally 2 seconds after i sit the captain says we are starting our decent & should be at the gate in half an hour.(haha half an hour- anyone else watch 30 rock?!) anyway... then i hear it- *pwwwwwoopppppojkgykd dcghjresfvhcaet!" the sound that means 3 days worth of poo has been released. no seriously. she couldn't have waited until we landed. or were off the plane. in the airport. at HOME in an hour???
i rush to get her super cute im-in-public-look-at-how-cute-i-am pjs off to salvage what i can. then i hear round two "ppppppwieahieudfbjslfjvdshizoITOE!!"
i look at the wonderful mother/nurse sitting next to me & say- I NEED YOUR HELP. she holds baby out while i lay down a big blanket & then a burp cloth on top over my whole lap. we put her down. we get out a arm & hammer baggie from the diaper bag (thanks melissa!) and i peel off the diaper. poop is everywhere. ev.ry.where. there was poop on the seat, my clothes, up my arm & im sure some other places i can't remember. all i know is i wiped anything and everything in sight. in the end i just threw out the burp rag with the diaper and 25 wipes(okay, slight exaggeration). bless that sweet woman & her daughter next to me- they were helpful & kind & not grossed out at all. i don't know what i would've done with out their help!
by the time it was all over we had about 2 minutes before landing.

i wish that these stories weren't true. and that i was a big fake phony who makes up poop stories & plasters them on the internet. but they aren't. you can't make this stuff up. oh faye, we love you, why can't you just go at home in your ugly onesies? plus, who wants to read blogs about poop???

Mr & Mrs Werner!!

a few completely AWESOME things happened last weekend.
faye & i flew to salt lake city on saturday morning, attended a wedding & reception, stayed the night in a hotel with grandma wendy & flew out sunday morning back home. im getting really awesome at really short trips! whew!
#1. this lady who i LOVE got married to the perfect man. how did i know he really WAS perfect?? when they got engaged he basically said "i love you, will you marry me, and to sweeten the deal i bought you this kayak!" match made in heaven! they got married in the draper, ut lds temple. i went to find a restroom and walked passed the bride's room. i thought happily to myself "jamie is probably in there right now!" and then as i passed who should come out?? JAMES!!! we cried & hugged & squeezed and held on tight. it was the best moment of my whole day! :) perfect timing! the whole day all i could think was how kind my Father in Heaven was to bless me with a friend as seriously RAD as jamie.(ugh. i am seriously the least photogenic person ever. i wish i had another picture of us together.)
(waiting for aunt jamie to come out!)

#2. then to make it even BETTER, my bff tyler from high school came up to see us & even crashed the reception! classic. i was sad brad couldn't come with me, but i'll take a friend like tyler as a substitute date anytime! it was a momentous meeting- after all, tyler lafayette vermillion thinks my daughter is his namesake ;)
#3. on the way out, grandpa's flight came in early so we even got to see grandpa keith for a half hour in the airport! hooray!! we don't see him very often so it was so exciting for him to see how much faye has grown in 2 months! love you pops!