People are nice & supportive

Dear General populous,

Most of you are very nice & understanding & I appreciate it.

People with (and without) hard babies have come out of the wood work to hug me& tell me it's ok. Almost everyone I've told about the switch to formula has been a cheerleader& super supportive.
So, thanks! I need it. More of it. As much as you can give me & I promise someday I will pay it forward as best I can.
Sincerely,
Lindsey

P.s. Shauna K, I love love love your blog comments-keep'em coming! If you can have 7 kids I surely can survive 2!

Keep in mind I got 3 hours of sleep last night

Sometimes I wish Faye had a little girl friend just her age who she could have as a little companion. All her friends her age are boys so they are starting to be interested in different things, and any girl friends who play dress up& dance are older& she is kinda the caboose. She is always the third wheel. I know she doesn't mind, bc she mostly plays by herself anyway, but it makes me sad. Just one friend in the same demographic would be nice.
It's a big worry for me that she will have the same debilitating insecurities that her mom has about friends.  (Course, I'm pretty sure she will not be torn from all her friends& everything she knows& loves at 15, be bullied at her new school by the Mormon girls & have issues with making new friends forever, but I digress.)
It won't matter til she is much older, but as a mom I still worry.
Anyway,I love her. Maybe bc she is my little companion& friend!

Oh baby Jimmy...

Dear Jimmy,

You are so hard. You cry pretty much anytime you are not sleeping. You have lots of pains in the digestion process. I feel so bad, bc you are a strong eater, but nothing seems to make your belly NOT hurt. Sometimes, right after fighting& screaming yourself to sleep, you wake up ten minutes later crying & writhing in pain. It makes Mommy & Daddy very sad. It's hard to know what to do.
We decided to give you ultra sensitive formula& you seem to do much better. I think we all feel a lot less frustration when you are feeling happy.

You are sure a smiley talkative baby, tho, when we have a good minute! You are easy to love & talk & coo at anyone who looks at you. Big smiles. Although big sister smiled a lot less at 6 weeks, you look so much like her when you smile!
I hope in the next weeks we can figure out how to help you feel better& sleep better. I think the bottles& formula are going to help your little system work a bit better.
Since we didn't sleep last night, let's take a good nap today so I can sleep, maybe?
Love you very much, my tiny man,
Mom

Tiny man who looks a lot like his big sister

Watch "Jimmy" on YouTube

How is your day?

Cinderella

I say, "Faye, wanna help me clean the house?!"
She answers, "Yes!!" And this is what happens...
I give credit to my awesome housekeeping skills...and Walt Disney.

Baby blues

Random post. Need to say something to help me feel better.

Baby blues are killer. Maybe it's bc I had postpartum depression last time & I'm not sleeping enough, but seriously, it's just hard to stay positive sometimes...

It's hard describe how it feels to people who haven't felt this way, but it's like all your regular faults, failings, insecurities,etc, are magnified by about 1000x. If you feel like being lazy about dinner on a regular day, with baby blues or postpartum it's like a horrible, terrible chore you can't even find the energy to do. If you have trouble with friends, money, it just feels like those insecurities are insurmountable, you will never get ahead.

So if you have ever felt this way, you are not alone. I'm trying to be really proactive this time to fend off the blues; exercising, eating better, staying busy, getting out of the house, but it's still a huge struggle. At least today.

Maybe there are other moms who feel this way & need to feel consolation, and if you haven't, send some good vibes my way :-)

i am not a crier

the older i get, the more my heart and tear ducts have turned to stone. not kidding. even if i START to get emotional, i SHUT IT DOWN. for some reason i have decided crying is a weakness and irritation and i can't be bothered. (i'm sure i have some deep seeded problem, but we're not going to address that today.)
that being said, very few things seem to touch me. lots of things touch me, i just don't go crying about it like everyone else. pregnancy makes me a bit more softy, but only on the rare occassion.
like for some reason, this video make me get choked up. (i did not cry, not even close, i just had to take a weird gulp of air, which is my heartless way of being emotional.) it's an old video, so many of you may have seen it, but i like it anyway.

pregnancy

definition of pregnancy:

physical state where wife craves cookies, waits for someone to make her cookies. if no one does, she will break down and make her own, then being so tired, expects someone else to clean up. if someone else cleans up, she eats all the cookies. if no one else cleans up, she eats all the cookies.

poor brad.
(although this is not quite true, he got a couple.)

Who knew?

- over 4 years ago I moved into a room to be shared with a perfect stranger. Who knew that marriages and babies later I would still go to that same apartment to hang out, decompress, and eat lunch? We pull up to the complex and Faye starts to shout "COCO! BABIES!" She is a big fav around here. Love you, Coco.
- that 20 months would be the funnest yet? I did not particularly enjoy the infant stage, but the toddler stage is THE BEST. Everything Faye says is hilarious. All her mannerisms cute. All the things she is learning make me so proud!
- I could cook! I have REALLY improved in the last 20 months- thanks to some coaching from Rina, and necessity being the mother of invention. I rarely use a recipe. Actually, almost never. I brought dinner to someone last night & they even told me it was DELICIOUS. BOOYAH! Who needs recipes!?

conclusion: improvement and enjoyment are always possible with good friends, delicious food, a little bit of confidence and super cute babies.